Having attended more than a few engagements and weddings already this year and a couple more still upcoming, I may be the guy version of that movie starring the actress from Grey's Anatomy. This is according to my esteemed fellow blogger - The-Indian-Guy (http://the-indian-guy.blogspot.com). So it sure seems that way though. It got me to thinking about whether I am content being single. Or am I ready to settle down. Or am I looking for a non-committed long-term relationship?
There's got to be some explanation as to why I am not the slightest be concerned about my single status presently. I decided to make a list of some reasons why I am content to be single; followed by a list that explains why I am ready to settle down.
Reasons to be content being single:
1) Freedom - to roam about the city at any time of day or night. To be at home or away from home and have no accountability to any one.
2) Peace of mind - from the drama that accompanies committed relationships. No hasseling or nagging or any kind of "-ing" that is not enjoyable.
3) Crickets - being able to hear those stringy creatures cricket in the morning. Being able to hear them at night. No voiceovers or "Honey, do this. Honey do that." God Bless those crickets.
4) Independence - be my own man. Be my own person. Retain my individuality. No need to compromise on everything, let alone anything. It's all about me.
5) Sharing - don't need to share food when eating out. Don't have to listen to "do you want to share? Why don't we just order 2 appetizers and 1 main course." No, I want to eat what I want to eat and I don't want to share.
Reasons to settle down:
1) Too much freedom - I'd rather have a loved one, a partner, a soulmate, a best-friend to be with while out in the city or while lounging on the couch at home. To be free is good, to be free and walking hand-in-hand with a loved one sure seems more appealing.
2) Too much peace of mind - If I want to live life like I'm in a coma, I guess the value of peace of mind can't be overstated. However, where's there's electricity, there's energy. What are a few shocks that accompany the nagging, the hasseling when it could just very well lead to the type of "-ing" that makes it all worth it. Hugging, Kissing, Embracing...yada yada yada... ;)
3) Bah-hum-Crickets - screw the crickets, I could not give a damn if I heard another ever again. I'd rather hear the voice of my beloved bellowing for me to take out the trash late at night or hollering at me to get out of bed on a Saturday afternoon. Houses are made with bricks, but homes are made with noise. All types of noises, but none more valuable and essential than that of the sweet lady of the house.
4) Over-rated independence - "it" being all about me is not all that it's cracked up to be. It's far more pleasing when it's about someone else. My heart filled with passion and passion is a currency that can't be spent on one's self. So there's unfulfilling byproduct of independence and it's a heart that bleeds out passion. No thanks. I want the passion in my heart to be explosive. I want to wake up beside my dear love and exude passion. It would be far more satisfying to live a life that is not all about me, but rather more about "her."
5) Sharing is caring - and it surely is. What's it like to go to a nice restaurant and sit across from the woman you love? When the waiting comes, you get to smile at her and while the waiter scribes the order, you hold your woman's hand and just know that sharing that dish is going to be more satisfying than the meal itself. So what if I'm not full afterwards, I can always suggest going to Mamoun's for some falafel and if you go back to (1) on this list; we'd have the freedom to roam the city as we like.
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8 comments:
'You said it all here..I want the passion in my heart to be explosive. I want to wake up beside my dear love and exude passion" I wish someone told me this earlier in my life!
So, you've asked some pretty serious questions at the beginning of your post and you have listed the proverbial "pros & cons", however I still don't feel that you have answered any of your questions. You appear to be looking at the glass as half full and half empty simultaneously. Interesting perspective but unclear none-the-less. It seems that you, like many other people out there are trying to have your cake and eat it too! Nothing wrong in attempting the impossible, but in this day and age, we must always maintain a conscious level of reality. You, very eleqouently use the same 5 reasons as pluses and minuses but what's your final verdict. Having made the list, and checked it twice, which of the two is the lesser of the evil???
I wanna kick you in the nuts to ensure you still have a pair!
I'm just kidding brotha. Um - I'm no expert, but it seems like you wanna settle down lol. Anyhow, I think Crickets are very nice, because I have some friends who definately miss them, and that is very important. Also, independence is not over rated, and it should still be there in a marriage I think. The key is finding someone whose independent about the same things you are I guess.
If I ever find out on my own, I will let you know. Til then....play on playa!
Coming from someone who feels they has basically experienced every type of person there is out there and still doesn't feel like she knows what she wants....you remind me what has always been in my heart. It's not about settling down, and i hate that word "settling," it should never have to be about giving in to the pressure of age or society, it's about never having to settle, it is about having your cake and eating it to. When it comes to love, you should never have settle. Indepence is great, and necessary, i completely agree, and ill tell you why. How can you know what you want in someone else, if you can't figure out what you want from yourself. You're other half should be the one to make you "whole" they should make you better. Waiting is painful, the silence can be defeaning by the relationships of past echoing in your ears...but in the end whether you find that person or not, i'd like to think i didn't compromise when it came to the most important thing in life...
Just a correction on what i said previously. "you're other half shouldN'T be the one to make you whole, they should make you better."
What you've said is an interesting viewpoint from a single male.
Stereotypical none-the-less coming from any gender. What's really interesting I've found when relationships are ready to "settle" - is many men/women get the phobia of losing their freedom..
hahah.. no joke! I can give you direct quotes from men and women.
"Am I the right decision?"
"You're getting married, good luck! Ýou're going to get "tied down" by your woman"
"How do you know he's the right one?"
At the end, I think what counts is sound intuition followed closely with sheer logic about whether you're right for each other. It's best not to emotionally waste time hopping from one to the other; because it's like buying shoes that look good but don't fit .. it'll just result to blisters and demented feet!
Marriage and soul mates is just about the "ying and the yang" - fitting each other where you can't fulfil yourself 100%.
Singledom and marriage shouldn't be taken with seriousness, because at the end of the day, I'll ask everyone a question:
If your spouse dies on you after your "honeymoon period"... will you remarry?
I know sure as hell, I won't : 0 )
A quote I altered to my own taste:
"Seduce my mind, you can have my body... find my soul and I'm yours forever. But for me, there is a twist..you'll have to find my soul in order to seduce my mind."
Haha, trippy huh?
Ciao ciao.
You've addressed all the main points, but still seems like you are still debating about what you want.
Well from the sounds of it.. I'd say you're ready to meet that special someone..
And I totally agree.. independence isn't overrated.. so many people see marriage, as an end point in their lives, where they will have to change everything in their life to make a relationship work.. rather a marriage should be about both people's needs, you shouldn't have to put in enormous effort to keep your marriage going.. rather it should be a journey that two people share..
THought don't know if i should be saying this.. since I don't believe in marriages myself...
Marriage is a tragedy for a man. Ties him down.
http://marriageisforsuckers.blogspot.com
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